“The ‘Boyfriend/Girlfriend’ Phase”

My teenage years are coming back to haunt me!

Before the year is out, she’ll be a teenager.  She’s in school.  Other students are going to talk to her, befriend her in chat, but I don’t allow dating.  Not even ‘in-secret’.  I’m too on top of things for her to be secretive about that, and she can’t even keep her own secrets.  I know her too well for her to be secretive, and I’ve proved this to her many times.  She knows this.

It’s been an interesting week, beginning with a boy in her class asking if she wanted to be ‘more than friends’ with him in online middle school chat.  She wanted to go along with it.  I said no.  She got mad, and then it started.

“Why can’t I have a boyfriend?”

“I’m old enough.”

“I had a boyfriend in elementary!”

No matter what I said, she didn’t hear me.  If she couldn’t hear me then she wasn’t going to listen, so I walked away.  I’m not going to argue with a preteen.

Well, I thought I had settled the situation because she changed her attitude.  She said she understood why me and dad don’t approve of her dating, or being ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’, and she moved on.  Today, this was not the case.  Because she takes online middle school from home, I check in on her every 15 minutes to make sure she stays on track, and that she’s listening and following directions.  When I went to check on her, she was chatting with the boy who asked if she wanted to be his girlfriend, only this time, she was asking him.  She was suggesting they keep it secret (so her mom doesn’t find out).  When I read this, I nicely told him she wasn’t secretly boyfriend girlfriend with anyone and please leave her alone.  He replied okay.

I have nothing against online dating, but her current grades aren’t proving to me that she has time to chat with her classmates.  She clearly needs to concentrate on her studies.

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