I wrote yesterday about New Years Eve and Day, and I skated around resolutions because I wanted to write specifically about them today. In previous years, I made resolutions, and I’d give them up within the day. Not because they didn’t work; they were childish, even for then. Then I gave up on making and setting a resolution for the new year. I wouldn’t keep it anyway.
The end of last year gave me something more to think about. I underwent a lot of mental changes, and overcame various situations that used to leave me stressed, and thick with anxiety. Now, I don’t feel nearly as stressed (nothing outside of the normal stay-at-home motherhood). When I began playing around with certain online tools, and using my writing, I found myself stepping further and further, baby step after baby step, out of a hole of doom and dread, and into a place where I’m free.
There used to be a lot of negativity in my life, and I put up with most of it because I was taught to respect my elders. I put up with others because I didn’t want to cause conflict. I hate conflict, but it’s because of my hate for conflict that I decided to change. To be who I want to be and not what others want or expect me to be.
I spent most of every morning last year, watching and becoming acquainted with Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Brian Kilmeade on “Fox & Friends”. Over the last year, I saw them introduce Jillian Mele to the Fox set, I’ve watched Pete Hegseth pig out on the free food various vendors bring by the building, I saw when Abby Huntsman announce her pregnancy to us viewers, and when she left us to go on maternity leave, and I attended Ainsley’s online book signing for Through Your Eyes. I’ve grown to idolize them, looking up to them, and considering them roll models, because that’s where I once wanted to be. Not to be on television, but to be a Journalist. I’m not a Journalist, but I am a writer, and I want to be published. Those at “Fox & Friends”–Janice Dean, Carly Shimkus, Griff Jenkins, Dan Bongino, and everyone else because I can’t think of their names right off–their individual personalities when on set encourage me everyday to step outside my comfort zone. They make me smile, they make me laugh, and I cry with them; like when they reviewed their 2017. So, there’s them, and P!nk. I love P!nk’s song from Alice Through the Looking Glass, “Just Like Fire”.
“No one can be just like me anyway” -P!nk
With that all said, my new years resolution is to be step outside my comfort zone with a new me, and so far, it’s working…
but, y’all didn’t hear it from me.