Writing has always been my go to, but I haven’t been writing. Instead, I’ve been trying to take on too many things in order to make a quick buck. Not my proudest moment, but I’ve come to realize this, and now I’m doing something about it. Fixing it.
I love to write, but I’m not writing enough. I haven’t posted anything new to my blog in months it seems, because I’m trying to do other things. I’m trying to make a difference in the world of education, but I’m not writing enough. I have my entire life to write about, but I’m not writing anything. That’s changing. Today.
Reality hit me hard this week with dad in and out of the hospital. Unable to focus on anything other than cleaning the house to keep my nerves under control, I had a lot of time to think. Though my thoughts are still all over the place, I’ve managed to find a direction. I’m not giving up on McKraft’s Literary Magazine, but I am putting the idea away for some other time.
While going through my writing, I see so much confusion, I don’t know what’s good, what sucks, and what needs work. It’s sad, but it is what it is, and I’m the only one who can fix it. I think constant rejection got the best of me. I don’t have the nail in the wall like Stephen King did, full of rejection letters, but every time I submit a short story to Chicken Soup for the Soul and they publish without me, it’s still rejection. Yeah, it’s not in writing, but aren’t we supposed to be conserving paper product instead of wasting it? Rejection hurts regardless of format.
Moving forward, it’s going to be one short narrative story at a time until my manuscript is finished and ready to submit for publication. Scott, with Page Publishing, is very interested, but he needs me to complete it before his team can review it.
All the effort I put into the making of McKraft’s magazine has been influential because it rekindled my artistic ability. I’d forgotten how good I was after years of listening to ‘another’ claiming her work to be that of a genius in comparison to any artist known to the world. Anyone can doodle and call it art, but mastery comes from the artist, not their tools. I don’t claim to be an artist, but if you like my work, I thank you for that. This summer I’m strongly considering refurbishing our office tabletop desk. While it’s nothing more than a medium wood, counter-height, square kitchen table, I want to sand it down and create a collage of characters. I’m thinking Yoda, Jack the Pumpkin King from “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, and of course many others. I’m not sure whether it’s fortunate or unfortunate (I guess it just depends on how you look at it) but it will be an entire summer garage project, but when it’s completed, it’ll look so cool. A unique work of art.
I’m going to close for now and go try to make some sense of my manuscript.