Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…

I’ve met my fair share of needy people.  Now, I’m not talking about people that need things like food to eat or a roof over their head, or clothes, I’m talking about needy, clingy, I wave to a stranger in a friendly manner and they misread my friendly wave needy.  I’m doing nothing more than waving in acknowledgement, but they acknowledge it as come over anytime and tell me all about your life.  Having encountered so many who are like this, I submitted myself to hermitage.  Keeping to myself to the point I wouldn’t even go outside.  I withdrew myself from the likes of society.

This has changed.

My husband and I moved into our own place, but we do have neighbors closer in distance to us than the last place we lived.  I didn’t really think about how close our neighbors are as we were moving in, but I swore to myself I wouldn’t walk down that path of friendliness again.  I enjoy having friends, but I also enjoy spending time alone because that’s when I can dive into my creative thoughts uninterrupted.  I lose myself in sketching or writing, or reading a really good book, whichever direction my thoughts take me at that particular moment.  These are my favorite pastimes, but not everyone accepts this, and most of the time it’s because they don’t understand it.  I don’t expect others to understand my creative fulfillment, but I do expect them to accept that art is who I am.  It’s what makes me who I am.  I accept others for who they are and what they do, but I also expect the same in return.  In other words, if you don’t understand it, don’t criticize me for it, allow me to either educate you or leave me alone.

On an evening, within a week after my family and I moved into our new place, we experienced a ‘tiny’ ant problem around our kitchen sink.  I noticed our landlord was across the road, on our neighbor’s porch visiting and in conversation, so I sent my husband over to inquire on some bug spray of some sort.  They didn’t have any bug spray, but they did offer us another solution which helped put an end to our ‘tiny’ ant problem, and because my husband went over to inquire, he also met our neighbors.  My husband is an old ‘hippie’ and he’ll be the first one to tell you this about himself, so he’s able to feel others out.  Not in the touchy-feely sort of way, but he can read them like characters in a book.  After cleaning up our ant problem, we finished cleaning the kitchen from dinner, and then my husband convinced me to go with him to return the borrowed ant killing solution.  As hesitant as I am on a regular basis, I allowed myself this neighborly meet and greet.  I’m glad I did this because in meeting our neighbors, rather than avoiding them like I normally do, I stepped outside my comfort zone, allowing myself a change in socialization.  Before this, I practically closed myself off from the rest of the world because of a handful of people I chose to allow to take advantage of me.

In meeting our neighbors, I did some soul searching, seeking advice from my inner self, and following my intuition.  I have to follow my heart.  By following my heart, I have to accept that I’ve made mistakes in my past, allowing people to practically walk all over me in a figurative manner.  By following my heart, I’m following my husband, trusting that he, who has years of experience before me, can read a person enough to sense whether they’re genuine or pretending to be something or someone they aren’t.  There are too many fake people in this world, but I can’t continue judging others according to those I’ve already met and distrust.

This isn’t the only thing changing in my life either.  I’m changing as an individual person as well.  No longer hesitating to ask about things I’m curious about.  No longer fearing I might offend someone.  No longer worrying about being misjudged or judged for my sometimes eclectic personality.  I admit, sometimes I ask questions that really shock a person, but I don’t expect my questions to be answered.  I’ll be the first one to tell you, if it’s too personal, tell me, don’t feed me a line of lies because my question crossed the line.  Tell me I’ve crossed a line.  As a mature woman, I will understand.  In return, ask me anything, if it’s none of your business, I’ll tell you.

It’s been so long since I’ve surrounded myself with real people, it’s quite refreshing.  I feel renewed hope and real connections.  My husband and I were visiting with our neighbors the other night when the idea to write this blog surfaced my thoughts.  Instantly, I was asking for a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to write.  They offered up both without question and even as I proceeded to spend a good 15 to 20 minutes writing out my thoughts, neither of them questioned me or criticized me for taking the moment to write what I had on my mind.

Changes.

Good and bad, changes come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of importance.  Throughout the last two months, the changes have come as expected and completely unexpected.  Moving.  Exploring an unknown destination at the most inconvenient time thanks to an error in GPS.  Adjusting, planning, and anything else I’ve encountered but am unable to list, the changes have proven to be for the best.  I didn’t understand them at the time, but because they occurred, I had to change, to become a better person.  Each experience is a lesson.  I had to learn that I’m going to be okay, that things are going to be okay, that we are going to be okay.  Most importantly, there are still good people out there, I just have to listen more closely, and follow my heart.

Rest In Peace C.B

Hey y’all!

Yesterday brought us news that saddened our hearts; especially the innocent heart of my daughter’s.

I don’t know how many of you have heard of or know of Disney’s ‘Descendant’s’, but it has become a huge, very popular franchise over the last few years.  They began with their first movie “Descendants” which escalated into a second movie “Descendants 2”, and as predicted by probably every child and teenager in the world, a third movie, “Descendants 3” which airs on the Disney Channel in less than a month.  My daughter has been a faithful follower since day one.

We all remember the Disney princes, princesses, and villains of our youth; Princess Belle, Aurora, Mulan, the Evil Queen, Maleficent, Jafar, Cruella de Vil, Ursula, etc; well hence the term ‘descendant’, meaning proceeding from an ancestor or source, the “Descendants” are their children.

I’ll give you a breakdown.

Mal is the daughter of Maleficent and played by actress and singer Dove Cameron.  Evie is the daughter of the Evil Queen and played by actress and singer Sofia Carson.  Jay is the son of Jafar and played by actor Bobo Stewart.  Audrey is the daughter of Aurora and played by Canadian actress, singer, and dancer Sarah Jeffery.  Ben is the son of Belle and ‘Beast’ and played by Australian actor, personality, and model Mitchell Hope.  Uma is the daughter of Ursula and played by actress and singer China Anne McClain.  Carlos is the son of Cruella de Vil and was played by Cameron Boyce.

Yesterday, we all learned Cameron Boyce passed away in his sleep from a seizure as a result of an ‘ongoing medical condition’ which has not, and probably will not be disclosed.

Breaking sad news to someone close to me is something I have done before, but it never gets easier.  In fact, it’s harder the closer I am to them.  In a previous relationship, I had to break the sad, tragic news of loved one’s passing to them.  That was the first time.  About ten years ago, I was faced with this responsibility again, having to tell my husband his dad passed away.  Yesterday, after learning of Cameron Boyce’s unexpected passing, I faced yet again, breaking the sad news, but this time to my daughter.  That was by far the hardest of all.

I could literally see her heart break and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  She idolized Cameron.  Her dad and I would pick on her, referring to him as her boyfriend, and like every young teenager, she would deny it, blushing her way through a verbal protest, ‘he’s not my boyfriend!’  So adorable; and yet, now a memory with a sad attachment.

As a mom, I hope I never have to break news like Cameron’s passing again, but I also know this is not a realistic expectation.  Like Cameron’s passing, things in life happen unexpectedly.  All I can do is be there for her, answer her questions, and remind her that his favorite thing to do in life was make people smile.

Rest in peace Cameron Boyce; May 1999-July 2019

Another Year, Another Entertaining Milestone

Hey y’all!

 

The school year is wrapping up.  Next week is our last week and then I’ll be packing our supplies to ship back to headquarters… until next school year come August.  Not only is our school year ending, my daughter is finishing her middle school career.  Next year she enters high school.  It’s the same online platform she’s adjusted to over the last two years, but it’s still high school.  Remember high school?  The beginning of the end.

Last night was performance night for our kids/performers at Kidz in Stepz.  My daughter’s been taking gymnastics classes with them since last year.  The growth I’ve seen in her, comparing this season to last season, leaves me speechless.  Last years showcase theme was “This is Me” and the girls performed their skills to “The Greatest Showman”.  This year it was “Moment of Truth” and the girls performed to “Ways to be Wicked”.  Want to know how ironically cool this is?  If you didn’t already know, “Ways to be Wicked” is the opening scene in Descendants 2, the movie.  My daughter practically lives and breathes Descendants; her favorites are villain kids Mal and Uma.  She has posters, barbie dolls, I made her a bouquet of ‘Descendants’ pen-toppers for Easter, displaying them in a purple, plastic, double-walled travel cup vase I decorated with ‘Descendants’ printouts, and I’m working on my own ‘Descendants’ inspired sketches to make her some t-shirts.  I was going to take a photo of the bouquet to share, but I completely forgot until after she took it apart and filled the cup with water.  I’m currently working on a remedy to change that.

Anyway, while last year’s showcase brought me to tears, watching the kids dance and perform their hearts to the fullest, this year proved to be every bit just as entertaining and tear filled.  The daddy dancers were all such awesome sports, dancing on stage, in the spotlight, with their little hearts of adorable innocence.  Then there was the teacher routine; a show by itself, it was so entertaining.  My face hurts from all the ear to ear smiling I did.  I laughed so much!

The kids were absolutely remarkable, right down to the tiny tots.  Remembering a lot of the faces from last years performance, we went into the new year, and I didn’t see a lot of them.  Not until last night.  I can’t believe how much many of them have grown.  Looking at my daughter’s gymnastics photo from last year and comparing it to her photo this year, her growth stuns me.  I’m filled with mixed emotions.  She’s taller, but she’s still and will always be lean and petite.  She’s progressing physically and in physical stature as a gymnast.  Her confidence level blows the roof when she’s in practice and it shows.  She’s a team supporter, but really, they all are!  They are all team supporters; supporting each other every dance step of the way!

I can’t wait to see next year at Kidz In Stepz!

 

Well, that’s all for now.  Until next time!

Thanks y’all for reading!