struggle

Feeling Optimistic

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A lot of things have been weighing heavily on my mind.  I won’t go into detailed specifics, because it is personal business, but I have been struggling to figure them out.

I have come the conclusion and now it feels like time is of the essence with the holidays approaching, among other things.  I needed to change things months ago, but it’s not like I wasn’t thinking, struggling to figure out how.  I’m hoping to have found the solution to my problem.  I’ll still keep the blog going, but while achieving other things as well.

When I took on homeschooling my daughter with GCA, I never thought I would find a love for educating in it; but completing four additional years of school to obtain a Bachelors degree in Creative Writing and English, by my choice alone let me add; it reignited my love of writing words to make literary art, and education is the foundation.  I enjoy homeschooling my daughter because I’m in control of the education she is getting.  Unfortunately I can’t educate, help, or tutor anyone in anything outside writing and English.  I do math well enough to help my daughter, same for her other classes.  I once helped someone with a paper, revision suggestions, and I really enjoyed doing it.  As the saying goes, I barely dipped my toe!

I’m afraid to say too much because I’ve only applied, but I would love to land the position none the less.  It would be an answer to my prayers, or as I stated in my cover letter, “consider it a dream of mine”.

Thank you so much for reading with me.  Y’all are awesome!

Friday Confession

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I can spend all day, coming up with one thing or another to write about, yet every time I log in, and finally set myself to write, I’m a whiteboard that’s been wiped clean.  I’m an electronic memo, and I’ve been cleared.

I could write about my day.  Hubby and I rearranged our home office after I finished with our daughter in school.  Fridays are usually the weekly make-up day, as we make-up any work we put off doing Monday through Thursday.  She’s in four classes a day, also participating in what I call ‘After-school Stride’, and we finish with a Content Learning Session.  Most of the time we finish up decently, but she also has days when I can tell she isn’t trying.

So, after we finished with school, I was up to my waist in maneuvering office furniture.  I was initially trying for an office/living room in our bedroom, but soon realized we weren’t using the patch of living room.  Taking away the living room portion, our office is now a ‘full’ home office.  We have a lounge couch and a kitchen niche, like a teacher’s lounge.  Then hubby and I have our double-desk, a counter-height kitchen table set for two, and now we have a table for layout-spreading.  I am so serious about building my manuscript, I’ve begun the process of rewriting and revising previously written rough drafts.  Every time I finish a story, I’ll print it for my physical copy.  I have a story about chicken slick coming along impressively by my standards, and I want to submit it to a writing contest.  I have until the end of the month.

Taking two days off to maul over my hubby’s critique, and to think about the contents of the current draft, I’m working further revisions in the morning.

I’m trying so hard to find my voice in writing.  I can feel the emotions in someone’s story or a singer’s song, and I can almost identically relive a memory complete with the emotional strength I felt at the time, but to put that emotion into words, so the reader can feel them, I struggle.

I do know the best thing I can do is keep at it.  I didn’t spend three years working to earn a BA in Arts for Creative Writing for nothing.  Rejection means try harder.  I can’t give up because this time it would be me giving up on myself and I can’t do that.

Until Monday… thank you for reading.

Have a great weekend!